I once had a client who was convinced that if he had a successful business he would be happy.  He decided to have a million pound turnover within 2 years.  Through coaching with me he reached his goal within 18 months.  That was a cause for celebration.  Then he realized that he was working very hard indeed and managing his team of staff, which took an emotional toll on him.  He really didn’t enjoy managing a team on projects.  The more successful he became the more relentless the hard work and he became overwhelmed and angry.  Being successful did not appear to be the answer. He mentioned that he thought something was missing.  He described a kind of “emptiness inside”. His next goal was to have a Harley Davidson motorbike and then he would feel that he was getting some reward for working so hard and providing so well for his family. Within months he was the proud owner of the Harley Davidson and in the meantime his marriage was becoming unhappy and unfulfilling.  So in pursuit of happiness and to fill the emptiness inside he thought that a new wife or a new partner would make him happy.

Through out all this time I was consistently pointing out that people, circumstances and events could make us feel happy or fulfilled for short periods of time and that happiness could only come from the inside of us.  This client wasn’t ready to hear that yet, so he had to go through the pain of his own misunderstanding about how life works. He thought if he could get more money, change his partner or his circumstances on the outside of himself he would feel better.

Unfortunately, that keeps us always striving for the next thing in life in an attempt to feel fulfilled.  I certainly became trapped in that thinking although I knew it didn’t work like that in my heart.

As I’m collating my own evidence for how life really works I’m noticing that it is just a trick of my mind that it looks like life is coming at me from the outside.

I only needed to watch some youtubes of Dynamo the Illusionist to show me that the illusion is right in front of me every day.  In that moment my life changed…

I’ve noticed that on some days I can feel very patient and loving with someone and on another day feel irritated and out of sorts with the same person.  In discovering that it’s got nothing to do with them and that it is all coming from inside of me, I felt such a relief.  Such a release of awareness and a peacefulness that I had only experienced from time to time.  In a strange kind of way that realization or insight changed me in an instant.

I also noticed that on some days I was endlessly patient with technology and on others impatient, irritable and downright angry and overwhelmed. Nothing had changed with my technology so it could only be the way I was generating my thoughts and using the power of thought unwisely to create those feelings.

I could give many more examples in different areas of my life.

I’ve noticed that my happiness depends on my own state of mind and is nothing to do with anyone or anything on the outside of me.

In this deeper understanding there is no “doing”.  It just happens all by itself with me feeling balanced and peaceful. Bliss!